Dildo
Submitted by Gordo on Sat, 2006-05-20 15:00.
Technology
A business mans company tell him that he will have to take a long business trip to japan to clinch an important deal. Unfortunately his wife is known for cheating on him when he goes away. He loves her still but everytime she does it it breaks his heart and this trip will be the longest he has been on. He also knows that she tries hard not to cheat and has done less and less. Having given up smoking he knows how hard it is to shake an addiction so he decides to go to a sex shop to get her something to keep her amused.
On his way home he goes to a little sex shop. He looks around for a bit but doesnt really find anything satisfactory. Just as he is about to leave the owner calls him over.
"Your looking for something special?"
"Yes, i need something to keep my wife busy while im away so she wont cheat"
The owner looks at him hard then reaches under the counter and pulls out a small wooden box with mystical carvings and pictures on it. He slides off the lid and inside sits a carved wooden dildo.
"Whats so special about that?" asks the man
"Watch... Voodoo dildo door"
To the mans suprise the dildo rises from the box and starts fucking the keyhole of the door.
"Voodoo dildo box"
The dildo stops and drops back into its box.
"Thats amazing i'll take it"
After paying for it he walks home with a smile on his face. The next morning after packing he gives his wife her present. At first she is dubious but after showing her the door trick she seems quite pleased, so he leaves on his trip.
After a week she feels then need for a shag but as she wants to stop cheating she instead gets out the dildo.
"Voodoo dildo my pussy"
The dildo rises obediently from the box and starts to shag her brains out.
A hour and ten orgasms later she feels better. Through all the sexual exstasy however she forgets the turn off command. And as she is well into orgasm numer eleven she cant think straight. she trys to pull it out to stop it but it doesnt work, so she deciedes that she will have to go to hospital to have it removed.
In the car on the way there she has another orgasm that makes her swerve dangerously. A police officer see's this and pulls her over. He walks up to the window which she rolls down.
"Have you been drinking?"
"No" The now destrought woman replys
"A voodoo dildo is shagging me and i cant get it to stop im on my way to hospital to have it removed"
"Voodoo dildo" the officer laughs "My arse"
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here's anoher one
Bob and Jim have to go to Australia (from U.S.) on business for four weeks. Bob says "We have to get a hooker, Jim. We're going to be away from our wives for four weeks." Jim says "No, I love my wife and I'm not cheating on her."
A week goes by. Bob says "Come on, Jim, it's been a whole week without sex. I can't take it anymore. Let's get a girl." Jim says, "I know it's tough, but I love my wife and I'm not going to cheat on her."
Another week goes by. Bob says, "Jim, this is it, two weeks without sex, I can't take it. Come on." Jim says, "Ok, I can't take it anymore either, but I feel guilty." So Bob picks up a hooker.
Jim, says "You go first. I feel too guilty." So Bob goes in the room with the hooker. He comes out and tells Jim it's his turn. Jim goes in and has sex with the girl. He comes out of the room very upset. "I feel so guilty," he says. "I don't know why I did it. Anyway, my wife is better."
"Yeah, you're right," says Bob, "she is."