As my belizean men tells me...
Submitted by 2hot2handle on Sun, 2008-11-23 03:30.
General
I was in Belize in October for a very sad event. The event goes on the back burner for this story for the moment. However we all know Belizeans only get together for two reasons: weddings or funerals. The latter was the reason for such trip. I met a lot of family members I hadn't seen in years and, more interestingly, some I've never met before. I met friends, new and old...Karim...haha! One particular conversation started by my "cousin" baffled me and still has me thinking. Here's how the conversation went (verbatim):
"Cousin": "Hey cuz, lang time I no see you!"
Me: "Oh I'm in the US...been there for three years now."
"Cousin": "Oh dah dats why. So you done married and thing? Damn cuz you looking good. I can't imagine you noh done hook up and thing."
Me: "Yeah I'm married."
Cousin: "To a Belizean or a white man? Either way he lucky fi have you."
Me: "You still noh tired ah bullshit huh?"
Cousin: "But pan di real mein, I happy fi you. And how Fern*(she's my sister)? She good?"
Me: "Yeah she's good. She's dating a guy from Belize City."
Cousin: "Oh really? That good! Check this out though. If she neva have dem two kids fi dah bwai Alvarez*(*names changed intentionally), she woulda mi done married again you know. She fine as hell too. Even afta two kids she still got it. We Belize man no like lady weh done have pickni fi somebody else. Mine somebody else hathead."
Me: "oh really?"
Cousin: "See like you, if you come back man out ya wah like you---slim and trim and NO PICKNI."
Me: "wow!"
I know people might be wondering where is she going with all this. My point is the utter ignorance of the garbage that came out of his mouth. I hope you Belizean men prove me wrong. I hope you all don't think like him. Is it such a double edged sword? Every guy wants a virgin to screw and get pregnant then "bail out" but a girl can't have kids and hope to get back in the dating scene. That scene is all to familiar to me. Thats the reality I grew up seeing-sister dating a loser, getting pregnant and he walks away. Cousin screws another man's husband, gets pregnant, he disowns the child. Friends having abortions because they had an "accidental" pregnancy and if they give birth, the guy will leave. LET HIM LEAVE DAMMIT! HE'LL LEAVE EITHER WAY! Now you might be thinking these girls are stupid to fall for losers, and you're absolutely right. What are they to do if that's all they see around them? My sister and cousin are very pretty ladies and I'm not just saying that because they are related to me. For those who know me personally, I fade in comparison to the girls in my family, but I'm the one with the personality (haha...all ugly girls say that! What are they to choose if option B isn't that much better than option A? From grace to grass and from grass you know where it goes...Are Belizean men really that shallow? I know a relative who married a girl from Orange Walk and is taking care of her two boys from a previous relationship. I'm quite aware that he is the exception to the rule. Im not asking for men to start "picking" in girls with children, but "man up" in the first place and take care of the seeds you planted. Be bigger than that! And for the record...i love responses, seeing what you think...
If all I'm saying is wrong, let me know. If this hits close to home, let me know too...equal opportunity!
I Remain,
2hot2handle♥
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Terminator
Submitted by 2hot2handle on Tue, 2008-12-23 20:17.
while i normally find your writing to be very hard to follow, this one actually shocked me...i love your mathematical genius too...and youre right...when it all comes down to it, a man will kill for a vagina...we women got power yall men cant resist...reel u in then SNAP! haha...thanks for the insight...much appreciated!
I Remain,
2hot2handle
at d CORE men...
Submitted by Terminator on Tue, 2008-12-23 18:48.
...r DOGs!!!...SOME of them may ACT conTRARY 2 this REALITY but d DARWINIAN kneeJERK is 4 them 2 BROADCAST their SEED as FAR & WIDE as it will GO!!!...AND it is NOT that they FALL OUT of LOVE as much as 'd grass ovah d next side of d fence ALWAYS seem 2 b GREENER'!!!
FROM an evolutionary standpoint U can look at it from an ECONOMIC standpoint using SEX CELLs as currency...THUS if a woman STARTs ovulating from AGE 10 and she does so until she is 50, it means that SHE would have prod 480 EGGS (40 yrs x 12 mths x 1 egg per mth) in her lifetime!!!...NOW 4 a MAN, if HE started JERKING OFF at age TWELVE 3 Xs per NITE and ends SEXING his wife 2 per MTH up to age 50 and his SWEET HEART 1 X per nite 20 Xs per MTH up 2 age 70, that WORKS OUT TO 1 X per dy for 58 yrs...If HE uummm shoots 10 MIL sperms everyTIME he would prod at least a ZILLION sperms during his LIFETIME...gulp...AND that is without d intervention of VIAGRA!!!
LONG story SHORT...MEN have SEX cells 2 BURN and WOMEN don't!!!...d DARWINIAN response is that MEN search 4 as much EGGs (read WOMEN) as they can uummm fertilize (read SCREW)...And WOMEN, having LESS, but from an EXCHANGE RATE standpoint, MORE VALUABLE sex cells, focus on QUALITY and r much more CIRCUMSPECT (read CHOOSY) as 2 WHOM they would coPULATE with (read GIVE it up 2)!!!
d MORAL of this somewhat lengthy TREATISE???...Forget d CANDLE LIT dinners and CHOCOLATE...at d very CORE of SANTA enthuiasm with d CHRISTMAS TREE and his NICENESS 2 d STEP KIDS is PUSSY...That's WHATs on his MIND 24/7 if HE is worth his SALT!!!
There are all types of men
Submitted by grep on Tue, 2008-11-25 20:51.
There are all types of men out there. I am an illegitimate son, and my 'dad' took in my mom despite knowing that she was pregnant for another man. That has always been an example to me, and I wouldn't 'discriminate' a lady because she is a single-mom. However, I will not seek openly for single-mothers either. The persons that highlight those cases are obviously not seeking a deeper relationship, they just want to get laid.
Having said that, it is very difficult to establish a good relationship with single-mothers, for a number of reasons. SlyFly mentioned one of those: the dad tends to be a pain alot of the times. Also, it requires extra work because (like it or not) you have to also earn the children's affection. This can be very delicate. But if a man truly loves a woman, all those issues can be worked-out.
P.S. The same applies the other way-round: a lady with a single-dad.
:)
and what
Submitted by YelloW on Tue, 2008-11-25 18:44.
About the men who had children then bail to seek other women?
"Ambition is the last refuge of failure." Oscar Wilde
Sly Fly
Submitted by 2hot2handle on Mon, 2008-11-24 17:08.
Thank you for your insighful response and again thanks for reviving hope in my Belizean men. I do realize that it is a prejudice to deny a relationship with a person because she comes with "attachments". It's refreshing to see that good guys are still out there...
on the point of "because those guys are usually the loudest", screams insecurity and immaturity...you're right! I couldn't have said it any better...
I Remain,
2hot2handle
My friend ....take heart
Submitted by SlyFly on Mon, 2008-11-24 16:17.
I believe that there are many guys out there who are mature enough to not allow a prejudice such as this to dictate the survival of a relationship
...and a prejudice it is!
Don't get me wrong, I do think that consideration should be given to every aspect including the fact that she has a kid, as there are certain situations that can occur because of it. ....like the case of my buddy who eventually broke it off with a 32 year old with a kid, because of the constant harassment from "baby daddy" who had actually been estranged from that family for 2 years prior to that.
However, it seems to me that turning it into a make-or-break kind of thing is pretty much the same as denying someone because of the color of their skin.
Reason why it seems like those kinds of guys who would deny a woman simply because she has a child are in the majority is because those guys are usually the loudest! ...and therefore more noticeable. ...speaks to maturity.
In any case,
No, your relative in O/W is not the exception!
Yes, there are more, much more, like us!
a sad thing about Belizean culture, i guess
are the women who get pregnant for men thinking that would keep them around, poor child become a damn pawn, then gets slapped around by the dumbass mom because she thought the kid shoulda kept the dad around.
Not all women of course, but God i have seen so many with my own two eyes and some of my own female cousins...so sad for the kid, i could give two rats ass about the mom or dad, the kid is the one who suffers.
Be careful what you wish for.